Does
having "things in common" matter?
Everyone
on a dating site has "things in common". They want a
relationship, they are open to a relationship, they do some
things for work and some things for fun. The term "things in
common" came from high-society social protocol training in
older countries where it meant that certain people were from the
same bloodlines and economic classes or not.
Most
dates, dating periods and marriages end in divorce and break-ups.
Those are mathematic facts. Most of those relationships started
out with each person seeing "things in common", which
is, essentially, a checklist of matching factoids. So, based on
social history, “getting to know you” and “things in
common” lists may not be relevant to a great relationship if
both of you are not repressed or fixed into a limited social
bubble.
Dating sites are about checklists and
computers and not actual experiences you share together. If you
decide to pick people to meet, based on a checklist, the
percentage of divorce and break-ups is much higher.
In
reality, if you both have actual fun and rewarding experiences
together, the things in common checklist often does not matter
relative to past experiences.
If you collect stamps
and your potential partner does not list "stamp collecting"
on their dating site list of interests should you delete their
profile?
Have you considered that each person has had
millions of experiences, enjoys millions of things and that there
are billions of things in the world that neither of you have even
experienced yet, together or apart?
Many people enjoy
everything that is fun to do. Do not limit people because they
could not fit all of their interests in a preformatted HTML
dating site form.
As two people play together they
grow together and develop common interests. In a good
relationship, the relationship gets stronger when you both
discover new things and introduce each other to things that you
have expert knowledge, or past experience in. Diversity is the
spice of life.
Don't cut potential people out because
one page of text didn't list everything you did for fun last week
if your are attracted to other aspects of the person. You might
be missing the best relationship you ever had.
Read
More From Public Postings...